You can't heal without grieving, and to grieve, you have to admit that you have lost.
Do you get triggered easily, and find it hard regulate your emotions? Does your emotions drown you leaving you feeling lost and helpless? Do you feel like you are unworthy and don't belong, constantly scared of being judged and abandoned? Has your life been chaotic with no proper sleep, diet and productivity and find it hard to control your impulses? Has it been tough to build and maintain meaningful relationships? Do you constantly struggle with guilt and shame for not being able to move your life back on track?
Yes, your experiences might have made it more tough for you to cope with day-to-day stressors. Yes, it might have changed the way you perceive the world, people around you and yourself.
First step to get your life back on track is by understanding that you have done the best you can with whatever resources are available to you and to the best of your knowledge and capacity. This step ensures that you stop beating yourself up.
Second step starts with understanding the reason behind your thoughts, feelings and actions through the lenses of compassion. There's a reason why you feel the way you feel and the reason for not being capable of fulfilling the promises you make with yourself to better your situation. This step calls for you to understand
Healing from trauma means that you have to acknowledge that what you went though was indeed traumatic. You cannot grief what you have lost unless you admit that you have lost something valuable.
Most of what we go through are shared and common experiences like poverty, emotionally unavailable parents, lack of extra support for living as an undiagnosed (depression, adhd, high functioning autism and more) child and teen, unstable childhood, experiencing domestic violence, experiencing substance abuse at home and living with parents with unmanaged psychological issues just to name a few.
Events like these that over repetition snatches away a person’s sense of safety altering their perception towards themselves, their surrounding and people are called complex trauma.
But, just because these are common themes, doesn't mean they have not affected you in a way that makes living harder.
In absence of such skills, you can be stuck with inability to be independent, form meaningful relationships, have trust in your ability and leave you with feeling of lack of identity, shame, and isolation. These tasks need to be completed even during adulthood if they weren’t done during childhood.
One of the ways to regain sense of safety and belonging is to get involved in a community providing unconditional support. Our community of trauma and complex trauma survivors who strive to heal and be better everyday share with each other their unique stories. This community also helps by keeping in track our journey of healing even during tough times and when things don’t seem to get better. Trust me, things do get better.
Call 9816053382 to know more. Check events that are active right now.